Helpless and Alone
by andrea-stephen
Summary: Clary Fray is the loser in East Alicante High. She hides in the shadows helpless and alone. Little do people know that it is because of her abusive father Valentine. When she gets partnered up with Jace Herondale, it becomes chaos. Will she escape or will she be consumed by the demons plaguing her. Clace story. RATED M FOR LANGUAGE, LEMONS, AND ABUSE.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 **Authors Note: Yay! I finally decided to write a fanfiction! I'm super excited to be writing this. Reviews and constructive criticism is always appreciated.**

 **Background information: Clary Fray is in 11th grade. She is 16 years old. Her only friend is Simon Lewis, he knows** **about Clary's situation. Clary's mom died when she was 14. Her brother died in a car accident when she was 15. She goes to East Alicante High School.**

 **This story will be written from Clary's POV. I will also switch it sometimes, especially for important**

 **I hope you enjoy the first chapter of Helpless and Alone!**

 **Clary POV**

"GO MAKE FOOD YOU USELESS FILTHY WHORE" Valentine shouted. A sharp pain and a loud crack filled the air and I staggered back, black spots clouding my vision. I quickly ran to the kitchen to avoid the wrath of my drunk father. "GET ME A BEER BITCH!" he shouted. I ran to the living room, beer in hand. He threw the old bottle at me. I fell down clutching my head. Then he got up and slowly walked to me. _No please not again. I have school tomorrow and it's hot outside._ I screamed in pain as he kicked me continuously and punched my face. When he finally got tired he passed out and I dragged my self to my room shaking in fear.

I woke up to an intense pain in my side. The clock read that it was 5:30. _Perfect, he won't see me leaving._ I quickly hopped in the shower letting the hot water sooth my body. I applied foundation and concealer to hide the bruises that littered my face. I glanced in disgust at the bruises that took up most of my pale body. I quickly changed into a long sleeve shirt and jeans despite the fact that it was 87 degrees outside. I grabbed an apple and ran out the door. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner weren't a part of my life because Valentine thought I was too fat and he didn't have a job while I did.

"Hey Fray" Simon called as I made my way to my locker. "He didn't hurt you too bad did he?" Simon whispered.

"I'm fine Si." I replied. "Nothing I haven't handled before."

"Move it Rat Boy. You too Carrot." A snarky voice said interrupting the earlier peace. I didn't have to look to know it was Jace Herondale. Jace and I didn't really get along. We weren't friends and if we were, Hell would have frozen over.

"Shut it Goldilocks." I sneered as he walked by. My books were suddenly flying out of my hand and across the hallway.  
"Woops. Totally didn't see you there." Kaelie's high pitched voice rang clear through the now silent hallway.

"Seriously Kaelie" Jace's voice surprisingly said. I watched in shock as he picked up all of my books and handed them to me.

"I- Um-"I stuttered unable to speak after that shocking event. Jace turned away but not before I could catch the emotions in his eyes. Anger, Comfort, Disgust, and one more I couldn't believe that was there. Understanding.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **Authors Note: Wow! Thanks for the reviews and the follows. It made me soooo happy every time I saw an email for a review or a follow! Can we get this chapter to 5 reviews? I love the feedback and support!**

 **This chapter is longer than the last one. Yay!**

 **I hope you enjoy chapter 2 of Helpless and Alone!**

 **Clary POV**

Chapter 2

I slid into my seat as the bell rang. I quickly grabbed my textbook and homework. I usually sat in the back all alone. I felt someone's presence near me and turned to the side. It was Jace.

"Seriously. Can you leave me alone? Go hang out with Kaelie and all the other sluts in this class." I hissed.

"Cool it Carrot." I sighed and turned around just as Mr. Garroway walked into the class.

"Today we are going to start a project." I with everyone else groaned. "This is a partner project." He pulled out a list and started reading names. Finally, it had come down to Simon, Isabelle, Jace, and I. "Simon and Isabelle." My eyes grew wide and Jace turned to me with a smirk "And finally Jace and Clary." I opened my mouth to protest but I was cut off by Mr. Garroway. "If anyone complains about their partner I will take points off. Also, make sure to get some way to contact them and their address." I turned to Jace and handed him a slip of paper with my number.

"But your-" He started. I interrupted his sentence.

"Give me your address. We'll work at your house. Here's my number, text me so I know when to come." I said. Jace handed me a slip of paper and the bell rang before he could say anything. I jumped out of my seat and out the door, clutching the paper tightly in my fist.

French had been uneventful and I was happy it was finally lunch. I stood in the lunch line holding an apple. Since I was the only one who worked I didn't have money for lunch. All my money went to my dad for his alcohol and the house. Whatever little I could get, I would use for lunch. As I walked towards the stand to get a napkin I was covered in sauce. The entire lunch room went silent. Kaelie stood behind me holding a now empty lunch tray. All of her pasta had been purposely dumped on me. The cafeteria had now returned back to normal. I was about to leave when Kaelie grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear,

"Bitch, you're just a waste of space and everyone's time. Go kill yourself, nobody's going to miss an ugly slut like you." I wrenched my arm out of her grasp and practically ran out of the cafeteria. When I got to the bathroom I was surprised. Isabelle Lightwood, one of the most popular girls was standing there with clothes and makeup in her hand.

"Here, wear these. I think these will fit you perfectly. You can put your dirty clothes in your bag. Don't return these clothes to me though. I think they'll look good on you." I silently took the clothes from her hand and walked into the stall to change. She had given me a white tank top and ripped, denim skinny jeans. True to her word, the clothes fit perfectly. But, I needed to cover the bruises on my arm.

"Isabelle, I need a jacket." I yelled from inside the stall. The door was a little open so I could see her. Before I could comprehend what was happening, the stall door opened and my arms were exposed. I shrieked and brought my arms behind me trying to hide them.

"OMG CLARY WHAT HAPPENED!" Isabelle yelled. I backed up further into the stall, my entire body shaking. "Clary, whatever happened, you can tell me."

"I – um" I struggled for a lie. "When I was at home I slipped on some water on the floor and fell on some glass, and plates." That would explain the scratches and the bruises.

"Clary, if someone's hurting you, you would tell me. Right?"

"I promise Isabelle, that's what happened, nothing more." Isabelle whipped out her phone and called Jace. A few minutes later Jace showed up to the bathroom with his soccer hoodie. It had Herondale on the back with the number 37.

"Thanks Jace." I called from inside the stall. I slipped the jacket on, comforted by his smell and the warmth.

"No problem Carrot." He replied as he walked away. Isabelle dragged me and sat me on the counter. She whipped out her makeup. After 15 minutes my hair was in silky, soft curls. My eyes popped and my lips were blood red.

"Perfect"

When I walked into science all eyes were on me as I slipped into the back most seat. All the boy's eyes were on me, but they soon all turned to angry death stares at Jace when they saw the hoodie I was wearing. I saw Kaelie, Seelie, and other girls scoff, or glare at my sweatshirt. I saw Jace's eyes widen and his eyes were lustful as they stared shamelessly at me. Jace then picked up his stuff and came to sit by me despite his friend's protests.

"Are you alright Clary? I'm sorry about Kaelie." He continued "I broke up with her." I stared in confusion, wondering what he meant. "By the way, you look beautiful in my hoodie." With that he turned to the front of the class. _No he can't like me_ I thought. _Wait, but do I like him. Oh fucking hell no. This can't happen. What would happen to him because of that crazy shit man I live with? I can't do that to him._ I came to a conclusion and it wasn't all that great.

I had a crush on Jace Herondale.

 **OH DAMN SHE LIKES HIM! Story's gonna get interesting from here.**

 **Questions :**

 **1\. How do you think Valentine is going to react if he finds out she is going to Jace's house?**

 **2\. Do you think Isabelle is going to tell Jace what she saw (Clary's arms)?**

 **3\. How is Clary going to act with Kaelie's harsh words?**

 **Answer these questions in your review! (Let's get to 5 reviews!)**

 **Love you Carrots!**

 **~ Andrea**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Hi Carrots! I'm going to India for about a week. I will bring my laptop to update but I don't know if there is wifi or if the wifi works. So if I don't update for a few weeks just know that it is because of that. Remember to review and leave me some constructive criticism!**

 **I hope you enjoy the third chapter of Helpless and Alone**

Chapter 3

"Clarissa go get me a six pack of beer from the fridge." Valentine said. When he wasn't fully drunk, he was alright. The moment he got severely intoxicated, my life was at risk.

"Yes Father." I murmured as I got him the six pack of Heineken from the fridge. I gasped as I dropped the case. I quickly picked it up, none of the bottles were broken. It was enough to set Valentine off.

"CLARISSA YOU STUPID BITCH GET OVER HERE" He shouted. I quietly gave him the pack. He inspected it and let me off with a slap to the face. I clutched my face knowing I was going to have to put foundation on before work.

"I have to go to work. I'll be back later because I have to go to my friend's house for an English project."

"Who's house? If it's a boy I'm going to KILL him" He asked suspiciously.

"It's my friend Janice. She sits next to me in English." I easily lied. If he knew I was going to a boy's house, I was as good as dead. He looked at me suspiciously and then let go of my arm. I quickly ran upstairs and changed. The dress code was simple, black skirt, white blouse and hair up. I put makeup on and left for Taki's.

"Hey Jordan." I yelled over the commotion of the restaurant. Taki's was a small but popular restaurant. Maia, Jordan, Simon, Aline, and I all worked here. I wrote my name in the sign in sheet and ran to go get my notepad. I was tapping my pen to the beat of the music swaying my head slightly. My head shot up as a group of people walked through the door, I gasped. It was Jace, Isabelle, Alec, and a little kid who I didn't recognize. I groaned as I realized they were in my section. I grabbed four menus and made my way to the table.

"Hi welcome to Taki's! Would you like to hear todays specials?" They shook their heads no. I was about to leave when Jace grabbed my wrist. He pulled me down close to his ear and whispered,

"Meet me at the bathroom after you get us our drinks." He then released my wrist and continued chatting with them as if nothing happened. After I took their orders and gave then their drinks I took a deep breath. I walked to the bathroom, Jace was waiting outside.

"Hey I-" I was cut off by his lips smashing onto mine. I was shocked and I gasped pulling away. "Jace I-" He cut of my speech leaning down again. I felt his hands on my thighs lifting me up. I complied wrapping my legs around his narrow waist. He spun us around so that my back was pressed up against the wall. I let out a moan as he pushed me with his hips further against the wall. He pulled me in closer his mouth nibbling on my lower lip. I pulled away gasping for air. I was still wrapped around his waist and I blushed a bright red.

"Clary, I really like you. Will you please go on a date with me? I know I haven't been the best person around. I've liked you for a while now. All those girls I dated were to try and make you jealous. Please Clary, just give me a date and a week. If you still don't want to date me then fine, I'll leave you alone. Just give me a chance." I was shocked. He didn't call me Carrot or Red.

"Fine, how does Friday night sound?" I asked. He grinned and pulled me to him again. I couldn't help but melt into his arms content and not afraid.

Friday had arrived faster then I could have thought. When I was in Jace's house on Monday it was the best. We kissed all over his house. I blushed red thinking about how Isabelle caught us kissing in the kitchen. Isabelle was screaming, Jace was laughing and I was blushing. The little boy I had seen was Max Lightwood. His younger(adoptive) brother. Whom I was great friends with because of our common love for manga. Jace had talked to me about how when he was 10 he was adopted by the Lightwoods. He had kept his last name Herondale in remembrance of his parents. In school, there were many rumors flying around about Jace and I. Were we dating? The most popular rumor was that I was just there to make Kaelie jealous. Isabelle and I had become close friends over the past week.

"Hey Clare." She called as she strutted to my locker. "Come over to my house Friday after school. I know about your date with Jace. So, I'll help you get ready." I blushed and nodded, running off to history.

The rest of the day was boring. All I could think about was Jace. The feel of his lips upon mine. As I walked out of school a startling scene caught my eye. Jace and Kaelie were kissing. I was about to turn away when I saw Jace immediately pushed her off. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but his expression did. He was fuming mad. He yelled at her until she started "crying." When he turned he saw me and his eyes widened. He stepped towards me an explanation on the tip of his tongue.

"It's okay Jace, I saw the entire thing. I know you wouldn't kiss her." The entire school had gathered outside looking at the commotion. I saw a mischievous look in Jace's eyes.

"Go with it." Her whispered. Then he brought his lips down on mine. I grabbed his shirt pulling him down further to me. One of his arms was in my hair while the other was tightly wrapped around my waist bringing me closer to him. I heard the cries of outrage from girls who thought they had a chance from him. The loud cheering, whistling, and catcalling of the boys, but I could care less. I didn't give any fucks what other people thought.

All I cared about us and the feeling of this moment.

 **Clace? Yay! I honestly loved this chapter. Leave me some reviews Carrots! Until next time**

 **Xoxo,**

 **Andrea**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 **A.N. So… long time no see. I am sooo sorry I haven't updated. As of about a week ago I moved from New Jersey to Washington. I've been super busy unpacking and I know this isn't a good excuse. I've also been having a little writers block.**

 **I would like a beta for this story. I'm looking for someone to proof read, and edit my chapters. Also someone who can give me ideas and I can bounce ideas off of. If anybody is interested in being my beta, please let me know your review or PM me. Thanks!**

 **I hope y'all enjoy the next chapter of Helpless and Alone.**

 *****WARNING: THE FLASHBACK CONTAINS ABUSE. THIS IS A TRIGGER WARNING. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE READING THESE KIND OF THINGS SKIP OVER THE ITALIZED PART*****

I woke up Friday morning with a start. I was screwed. Valentine had seen Jace drop me off home, and the results weren't great.

 _"_ _CLARISSA YOU LITTLE WHORE!" He screamed as he landed a punch to my my cheek. I stumbled back. "I BET YOU ARE FUCKING HIM LIKE THE LITTLE SLUTTY WHORE THAT YOU ARE." I winced at the the accusation, I was a virgin, and planned to keep it that way. "I swear to fucking God Clarissa, if I see you with that boy again I will kill him in front of you." Then he continued to beat me and hit me. "Let's see how you act after this punishment. Get on your knees. I complied afraid. Tears were streaming down my face. He then pulled out his belt with a psychotic look on his face. He ripped my shirt in half and started to whip my back. I screamed, tears flowing down my face in a steady stream. He held me up by my hair with one hand while the other continued to whip my back. I screamed as fifteen lashes were made on my back. Blood was flowing down my back while tears fell like a waterfall from my eyes. I thought he was done, but I was wrong. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and I squirmed and screamed as I knew what he was going to do. He held me down with his feet as the vodka was poured onto the wounds in my back. I screamed in pain until I passed out._

I winced as I got up out of my bed and got some Advil from the bathroom cabinet. I hopped in the shower, looking at my body with disgust. I had bruises all over my torso, legs, and face. Thankfully my arms were clean. I had told Valentine that people were getting suspicious of my sweatshirts in the warm end of April beginning of May weather. My back had scars from where Valentine's belt had struck me 15 times. I gasped in pain as the hot water ran down my back and into the new wounds. After finishing I did my makeup, changed into a sweatshirt, Star Wars tee, and skinny jeans. Then I ran out the door.

As I walked to school I thought, _I'm going to have to avoid Jace. I can't risk Valentine hurting him. Stupid fucking Valentine, if only mom was still here. She left like the fucking coward she is. And Jon, I wish I knew where he went too. Why did they leave me?"_

I was broken out of my thought by a person shaking me.

"Clary?" It was Jace. I threw off his hand and ran inside to my locker. Too bad for me that he plays soccer because he definitely can run faster than me. Jace easily caught up with me and grabbed my waist. I gasped and winced in pain as he grabbed onto a bruised part of my body. Jace immediately noticed and let go opening his mouth in question.

"Clary I- " I cut him off, pressing a small kiss to his lips and walking away.

 _Damn you Jace Herondale._

"Hey Fray." Simon said as he slid into the seat next to me in history. He poked my lower back and I let out a shriek of pain. "Clary, what did he do?" Simon asked in question to Valentine's punishment the previous night.

"Simon it's nothing. I- "

"No Clary. Tell me the truth. Or I'll go tell Jace."

"Fine," I hissed "He whipped my back 15 times. The wounds are healing. Simon abruptly got out of his chair.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS CLARY!" He screamed. "I'M TELLING JACE"

"No Simon, you can't PLEASE." I was crying now. Valentine would hurt them. "Please Simon, give me a month, if it gets bad, I'll tell Jace." He huffed and turned back to the front of the class just as Mr. Wayland walked in. I dropped my head down thinking about Jace. His body, sculpted to perfection, like a god. I couldn't phantom any scars or bruises on his body. I had to leave him, for his sake.

Jace POV (I'm super excited to be writing his POV!)

"Izzy!" I called as I saw her standing by my locker. Clary had just left me in the hallway, she was upset and I had a theory that Izzy knew.

"Hey Jace." She stood next to me as I opened my locker. "Do you know what's up with Clary?" She asked. I couldn't help it, I let out a loud laugh. She looked at me, "What? I was a legit question." She huffed as she glared at me.

"No… It's just that Clary ditched me today. She was upset. Our dates tonight, so I don't know whether she wants to call it off or not."

"I'll text her about it." Was Izzy's reply as she hurried off to her next class. I stood there confused and hurt.

Math was terrible. The entire time I couldn't stop thinking about Clary. The freckles dotting her face were adorable. Her lips pouty, pink, full, and oh so kissable. I felt my pants become tighter as I thought about Clary.

"Mr. Herondale, the answer."

"Oh…I- Um- uh, 21" I stuttered out confused because I hadn't been listening to him.

"Far off, it's 69." The entire class snickered at my answer and the innuendo. My pants became unbearably tight as I thought about Clary in the 69 position. _Chill the fuck down Jace,_ I chastised myself. _You don't even know if she wants you that way, and if you're even cool._ With that I sighed and switched back to reality.

 **A.N. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I will try to upload a new chapter once or twice a week. Please contact me via PM or review if you would like to be my beat. (More info in the** **beginning A.N.)**

 **xoxo,**

 **Andrea**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. I really enjoyed writing Jace's POV this chapter. I'm super happy to say that I really know how I want the story to go and end! This story will be maybe 20-35 chapters. Be ready for some serious drama in a few chapters!**  
 **Much thanks to my new beta DemGrayEyesDoh for editing and helping me with this chapter!**

I hope y'all enjoy the next installment of Helpless and Alone!

Jace POV

As I walked out of math I saw Clary and Simon. As I approached them I stopped short and leaned against the wall hearing their plans.

"So we'll meet at Java Jones at 3, ok?" Simon gave Clary a quick hug, which she winced at, and ran off. Well, now I know what I'll be doing at 3.

Java Jones was quite empty at 3. I knew which table Clary would sit at because every time I saw her here with Simon, they sat at the same table in the middle of the right side. They were probably going to discuss something important because everyone here knows that Java Jones is bursting with kids at 4 and pretty much empty at 3.

"I want my usual." Clary said while sitting down. Thankfully she had her back to me because if she saw me, I was dead. A few seconds later Simon was back with two cups of hot coffee and he sat down looking at her intently.

"Si, I don't know what to do anymore. I swear the last time he hit me, I thought I was about to die. He hit me with a BELT, Si.A freaking BELT! What kind of sicko does that to his daughter? I have so many scars and bruises that I couldn't possibly count them all. I want to die; I can't live like this anymore." Clary was visibly trembling and by the motions her hands were making, she was wiping her tears. I couldn't do this anymore.

Flashback

"Please don't. I'm sowwy." My five year old self was trembling as my current foster dad walked up to me with a small pocket knife. I screamed and howled as he started cutting up my chest and back. "PLEASE STOP!" I was squirming and writhing in pain.

Will you talk back to me again?" He asked. I didn't answer because I was too busy crying.

"ANSWER ME" He yelled as he added another long diagonal cut from my shoulder to my middle back.

"PLEASE. I'm sorry." I cried. With that he left me bleeding and crying in the basement. 2 days later with no food and only water I was finally let out of the basement. This was the first time, but certainly not the last. In this home or the next 3.

"Um, sir?" A timid voice asked.

"What" I growled, my train of thought broken. I looked at, well down at a little girl who was probably three or four years old.

"You looked sad. So, I got you these pretty flowers!" She grinned brightly up at me. I looked behind her to see both of her parents looking at her with concern, and love. Something I would have given anything for as a child.

"Thank you. What's your name?"

"My name is Emma! And I'm gonna marry you when I become big." She looked so innocent, smiling up at me, and in that moment she reminded me of Clary.

"Thank you for the flowers Emma. I have to go help my friend now." She gave me a tight hug and skipped back to the other side with her parents. Ugh I have practice at 6. I thought. I need my practice hoodie. I'll just stop by Clary's house get my hoodie, and ask her about Valentine. With that in mind I hurried out of Java Jones and drove to Clary.

I reached Clary's house in about seven minutes. It was currently four in the evening so I had a little less than two hours to sort stuff out with Clary. As I neared her front door gasped. Clary was curled in a little ball and Valentine was kicking her and hitting her with his belt. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down. It all made sense. The flinching, the bruises, the conversations with Simon. It all made sense now. I waited for about 5 minutes as Valentine got one more hit in and then went upstairs. As I was about to knock Clary stopped. Her eyes filled with tears as she saw me looking through the glass. From the expression on her face I could tell that she knew that I saw the whole thing. She rushed to the door, trembling, tears streaming down her face.

"Jace, I- I'm- uh- um- I" she stammered still shaking violently. I pulled her into a gentle embrace as she cried into my arms.

"Clary. I'm so sorry. I can't believe you went through all of this for God knows how long. I'm sorry that I didn't know before. But baby, this needs to stop. You could have told me and I- "

"Jace, I didn't have an option. My mom took my older brother and left when I was 10. Before that he used to hit my mother, but my brother was always his little angel despite the fact that he failed classes and drank alcohol when he was 14. The last time I saw him was seven years ago. I've learned to live this way. Just one more year. I'll turn 18 next February and then I'll be out of here. Please, just don't interfere Jace. I couldn't live with myself if he hurt you. "

"Clary-"

"I'm serious, Jace. I only ignored you because I didn't want him to hurt you. If I could leave I would leave in a heartbeat. But I have nowhere to go." I knew that this was the only option.

"Stay with me" I blurted watching her closely.

 **A.N DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN! I loved that ending. Much thanks to my amazing beta for helping me with the ending. See y'all next week!**  
 **PLEASE REVIEWWWWW! I'll give you guys brownies. (Fanfiction brownies.)**

 **Xoxo,**  
 **Andrea**


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